Active, or engaged listening, is what actually connects people in conversation, changing the dynamics from speaker vs. listener to → speaker AND listener working together for mutual understanding. When you start paying attention to your conversations, you may notice how often the person you’re speaking with (. or you) is listening to respond – just waiting to add their comment or be the one to put a bow on the topic at hand.
There are many different kinds of listening, but this speaker-listener technique is one of my go-tos… and one of the most foundational ways to build trust on your team. Get ready to improve your conversations!
Once you start paying attention, you’ll notice that people give a lot of clues when they’re wanting more of your attention. Their are indicators that show the change to active, objective listening.
Subtle cues might include…
Or there might be a more obvious comment, like:
These cues tell you it’s time to transition from chatty or bantering mode to a more mindful form of actionable communication (. it will serve you well in your personal life, too).
There will be times when a teammate or team member comes to you and you’re unable to give them your undivided attention. It’s okay to ask “do you need to talk with me right now?” After you hear their response, you as the leader need to make a conscious decision whether you need to redirect your attention to them now, or ask if you can discuss at a later time.
Leaders don't have to drop everything all the time – you’d never get anything done! Consider this: When one employee comes to you and distracts you, what happened to the initial employee you were helping? It can quickly become a vicious cycle, and it all comes down to making good decisions in the moment. This all requires self-awareness, discipline, and practice.
Keep in mind that behind your response is an opportunity to influence their opinion of your leadership – you can win trust points by a) making time for the interaction then and there (if you can do so without sacrificing other needs) or b) slowing down to ask about the urgency and redirecting to a later (but ASAP) time where you can give them more of your attention.
Active listening is listening with discipline. You’re transitioning your brain from on-the-surface listening to deeper listening, and that switch is something you need to consciously execute. Suddenly it’s time for you to drop everything and listen.
A recent Salesforce Research study revealed that when an employee feels heard, that person is 4.6x more likely to feel empowered to perform to the best of their ability. That’s a pretty astounding number. It’s easy to see how learning to listen well can truly drive organizational success.
Ask. Listen. Clarify. Active listening is an amazing tool for building trust on your team and helping team members feel heard and understood. As the calendar turns, I challenge you to make this one of your leadership development goals for the coming year!
